where do i even begin . sorry for the delay... then again i'm not...
let's play catch up real quick: business is BOOMING, i'm still fab, they're probably still jealous (*wink*), God is still real, ppl are still crazy, i'm still me, Only better.
a self-es⋅teem
[self-i-steem ]–noun| 1. | a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect. |
Ok so, recently ,as of November, I have began a new journey in my life: weight loss. Now i'm not huge, but I'm NOOOO way near skinny either. I just grew tired of the horrible selection of clothes, and not wanting to take pics. (i HATED the way I looked in pics, still do). So as I've become obsessed with my decision , I've also begun a MAJOR self -inventory. What's REALLY the problem and how many other women have the same issue? I have girlfriends that are a size 8 and want to be a 2, a 14 that want to be a 6, light-skinned but want to be "bronze", dark skinned but want to be light, tall want to be short, long hair/short, curly/hair straight blah blah blah. I mean you get the picture. So I'm thinking "Why aren't we really just satisfied with EXACTLY who we are?" Well I'm going to tell you who got me f*cked all the way up in the head: Serena "I'm-sexing-Common-and- ya'll- mad " Williams. NO, really; HOW is she thick as hell, and cut ALL the way up?? I mean her body is SICCKKKKKK...And Beyonce "yall-bitches-gone-hate-and -I-love-it" Knowles> I shant not go off into a rant on WHY, it's pretty self explanatory and painfully obvious... But it's way deeper than even that. Even the most confident person (or at least one who appears this way) has some of the most unexpected insecurities . Someone really close to me ,mentioned a comment someone made to them about "body type": (loosely quoted) 'I'm glad you are losing weight, I don't hang around fat ppl....we could still be friends, We just couldn't be seen in public together" ..... are u gagging yet? cause I damn sure did. Now,let me say this , I have THEE shallowest moments, and am a proud Plastic at times ( sue me), but THIS one hit a nerve. I think it's b/c of the misconception that every one that gains weight, or is naturally "over-weight', or just not as small as your skinny ass ( told u this was personal), that it's b/c the person was being a gluttonous slob. This couldn't be further from the truth. There are MANY, MANY times in life when we don't have a clue what ppl are going through in life.
Scenario:
Imagine being 19, a size 6/8; You go to the doctor, and what ever condition you have HAS to be treated with steroids, and you gain 80lbs over a span of 8 months. Now, everybody that sees you asks "when you're due?", or says, " when did you have a baby?", or my fave, " I didn't know you were pregnant"....
yuup, that was me
Now, let us not get this thing misconstrued , I was never a sloppy joint; never messy. People STILL want to be me for Halloween... lol!!!! <--that was a good one (so shallow , I know).. but i KNOW how it feels...
So, in conclusion, you skinny light skinned, long hair bitties, be thankful for what you're blessed with; bald- headed, navy blue , skin flawless, Alek Wek joints, embrace it; 18inch Remy (velvet, saga or goddess), hazel contacts, ass shot receiving mamas, love YOU, I mean, it's YOUR money (or his) LOVE it!!
Don't let America/ the media/ or someone that has no idea about you or YOUR story dictate what you should feel about YOU. We're all BEAUTIFUL MASTERPEICES. God doesn't create anything less....now if you choose to be a mess, That is indeed, your business.. ;)
Ciao Loves
me
Loving God, Loving me, Loving you, Loving Life
P.S. feel free to comment.
