DON'T JUDGE ME

I'm one of my moods so I feel like writing................


"DONT JUDGE ME"
This phrase is somewhat of disclaimer, to back up any buffoonery, excuse any stupidity, give a pass for any and all of the crazy bullshit that I do, or to just give you a second to htink before you comment or respond on something i've done or said; a slight reminder that you've done some bullshit in your life as well.....It's ok, you can borrow it..............

*depending on how hungry I am, I will eat a "snack" while I'm cooking or waiting for something to heat up...so what

*I laugh at people....all the time though..I'm trying to stop , Really; I am ( no I'm not)

* I STILL go to the g0-go...ALL THE TIME...and I prefer them to the wack ass " i'm spending my whole check on an outfit and one bottle that I'm not going to drink I'm just going to stunt and hold this bottle all night" clubs or the "i have nothing else to offer so i'm going to dress like a sleeze and pray i can catch a joint in here" lounges....Every go-go is a party .....and yes u will find me and the other cunts sprinkled throughout, dressed for homicide, in a pump, hair layed , face beat ,partying like it's 1999.... so what....sue me


* I will spend my LAST on cosmetics......and /or a shoe....I actually see it as an investment in my career and future entrepeneural pursuits...


* I text and tweet in church....only during "commercial brakes"


*I can't stand foreign ppl.....I hate trying to decipher and put together sentences out of broken English and a heavy accent...just boils my blood


*I call all Chinese People ...."the China Man".....ignorance at it's finest..i know


*I frown upon men in coupes or "mini trucks" that should be coupes and i HATE "crossover" vehicles> the only acceptable one in my book is the cadillac joint( non-acceptable ie: Rav4, Escape ,Forrester) with a few exceptions.....

*i buy cookie dough to eat raw.....haven't actually baked a cookie in ages


* i'm late for church almost every Sunday, because I "have to run to Target really quickly for something"..............

*"Natural people"get on my nerves......I call them 'Bahamadia's or Nashi- Ramba's (frm that episode of Martin)


*i hate feet but am always lookin at other people's....i can't for the life of me understand how some people aren't embarrased to show those monstrosities



i think i'm done for now>>>>>>




FEEL FREE





Sometimes Shallow, Always loving,




Me






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What's Love Got To Do With It????

Good Morning babies!!!!!









Been a while, I apologize...............sooo much going on, but it's exciting!!!





Today we are going to get into some serious shit....Men and women have had this "issue" for decades, eternity even........



A few weeks ago i was posed a question by my bf:

"how do you set standards without making the next man feel like he's paying for the previous man's mistake? "

warning: this will have alot of rambling, ranting, emotion, personal opinions , scenarios [ you get the picture]...

here we go

First things first , the problem is: standards need to be set in the beginning...if we set clear standards and hold ourselves accountable noone will have to pay for anything b/c there will be a clear set of "rules" for every person. As i engaged in my daily dose of social networking(Twitter) and interesting topic was brought to my attention: basically, in a nutshell, "women don't know what makes them happy." I couldn't disagree or agree with this statement more (attitude forming as I write *smile*) ..............I always play devil's advocate.....now , for those like me, whose fathers were actually just sperm donors, we didn't have the "normal " example of a man. So my "happiness" may come from more trial and error; But at 26 , i am very aware of the things that warm my heart. Now for anyone that may not know: make a list, write that shit down. That's what I did. Now the problem arises when we deviate from what we know we want. Ladies , we do this all the time especially during this recession. [sidebar: the recession does not only refer to monetary issues. There is a recession when it comes to the dating pool as well]

Now my list ( and the other cunts will tell you ) is to HERE and I am not ashamed to share some of it with you: ( no particular order)

1)larger than life: when i say i like the biggest ninja in the building??? that's what i mean....i love height and thickness ( fanning myself) i love it ..I'm 5'9..220 , in flats soooo.....

2) certain level of spirituality: doesn't have to be a deacon at a church, but some type of relationship with God

3)personality: i love to laugh, be mentally challeneged and charmed...if u have all of these....check!

4) ambition/goals: ok so i understand everyone may not have wanted to attend or finish college, but you HAVE to have a plan; goals and follow through to make up for it

5) open-minded: i like to do any and everything and will try almost anything once..a man who will be open to different things or even do them just so he doesnt hear my mouth.....(lol)

ok so these are just a few of the "list to there" that i have..............

fast forward to the present....i think i've "him"......let me first explain to you what "HIM" means: that person that every one told you u were crazy for thinking they existed, HIM; the one dude that makes you raise whatever standards you had or create new ones u didn't have, HIM........YUP found him.....Now dont get me wrong I'm not walking down the aisle next week, matter of fact, he's not even my dude. But the things I've learned about men and myself just from interacting with "HIM"....................

NOW i'm about to get really personal ( as if I don't any other time right).....over the years i have come to realize one common flaw in all females: WE NEVER THINK WE DO ANYTHING WRONG. We will be ready to read a dude in a second; " why do you have that on?" " i know youre getting your haircaut before we go" "when are you going to get a job?" "When are you getting a new job" "Why don't you wear ______(fill in the blank) like this" "I don't like your friends", " You get on my nerves".............. But think about if he said the same stuff to us?? the only thing a woman MIGHT have sympathy for with a man is sex; and that's ONLY if we really like you.....men willl lie to make u to make u feel good in that too small dress when he really wants to tell you you look like a water buffallo, he can't stand any of your loud hating ass friends, he has the car he has b/c it was given to him by his parents and he doesn't have a car note and he's trying to find a way to keep money in his pocket for all the bags and pumps he's spoiled your as with over the years.....but of course we don't think this way.....it's ok it too me14 years to figure this much out and there's still a wealth of information to be discovered ( dont worry I'll share)>>>>>>soooooooo back to "him"

when i tell ya'll this ninja exposes everything about me, just because he knows how to be so real with me. Ya'll know exactly what I mean too: when they call you boo while they're cursing you out?or check ur ass/put u in your place then kiss you to signify that it's the end of the convo and not up for discussion,?<--------one of my faves; Complain about how long you take to get dressed, while giving you a time frame in which u need to be ready for dinner at a restaurant that HE picked out?? HEAVEN, ok????? BUT.........there's the parts of me that i try to keep hidden......here goes....I have a horrible time trusting ppl, not even just men, and i keep as much to myself that i can until i absoultely have to expose it. Haven't been completely open and honest from the beginning in AGES....by that i mean, I won't lie to you, but i won't tell you unless you ask me either.....scarred i guess...petrified of bearing (?) my soul for another ninja to play me? Chile Please;Me give my all for a dude that doesn't know how to appreciate it even a little? *sideeye* yeah ok; be all hype and shit from a couple cute outings, spend all my time with him for him to tell me he "doesn't want a relationship right now" ( mind u no sex involved) u have me fucked up, royally.... so i had eventually become the woman i never wanted to be with the same characteristsics of the same men i complained about.......this this ninja comes along........called me out on all my shit. ALL OF IT, and it's sad because i THOUGHT i had pin pointed all of my flaws and had begun to work on them..but you know what? i've never been happier to find out, (or have someone else point them out)...........*cue "Flaws & All" Beyonce*..................so I thank and appreciate"Him" .....you get all the Reeses and Gatorade/Vitamin Water in the world.....*muah*....

feel free to comment, I actually want you to voice you comments /concerns/thought/feelings

'til next time

LOVING ME, LOVING YOU, LOVING LIFE,

ME